Alo on S+M: An Odd Balance...

I've been thinking a lot about my fetishes recently. (When am I not?) I tend to think more about them when I'm busy with non-fetishy stuff. So the past day and the next few days are probably going to be spent on immense amounts of self reflection and fantasizing. ((I'll likely be gone for the next 4-5 days on something important.))

Anyhoo, what I've been pondering at the moment is SadoMasochism. It's one of the few fetishes I have that I actively practice in real life- and grows more special to me with every play and fantasy.

Compared to expansion, animal transformations, giantess, breast expansion, inflation, blueberry, etc- S&M is remarkably easy to explore in real life. The others never really going beyond roleplay and maybe a bit of prop play. This- combined with having the most intense sensations I've ever experienced continues to elevate S&M in my eyes. Which is funny- I never thought I'd become a masochist.... or end up enjoying playing a sadist.

Of course- if you think far back enough- one can't imagine being any kind of pervert or a sexual being at all.

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This particular ramble is more focused on the Odd Balance Lilly and I have been developing over our exploration of S&M. Purposely avoiding too much detail and the like for her sake. But hopefully enough to get my ramble across.

Lilly and I both have Masochistic tendencies and neither of us have any natural Sadistic tendencies.

Which has resulted in that Odd Balance I've brought up. Both of us have fantasies and desires to be dominated by the other, to be owned and controlled in a gentle and loving, but firm and occasionally brutal manner. This is complicated a tiny bit by the fact that neither of us have the natural desire to own, dominate, or control the other. Compared to the "imagined" S&M relationship- one person is the Sadist and the other is the Masochist. One Master, one Slave. In our case, we have two Masochists, two Slaves. Two Slaves with no Master, what are we to do?

We struck the Balance. In a slow and experimenting way, we have built a balance of switching and acting in our efforts to please each other. Sometimes we exchange the roles multiple times in a single day~ Each submitting in their own time and requesting the dominance. Sometimes entire days or handfuls of days can go with one dominant and one submissive. And sometimes- we just end up abandoning it entirely and just making dom or sub jokes/flirts every couple hours instead. It's not perfect- but it's a fun balance and we're both learning about ourselves and each other.

What I've learned- is that Submission and Dominance are not things you *are*, but are like any other role. You learn it, you act it, you can become it. Especially if you want it for yourself or someone you care about.

When we first began experimenting with submission and dominance play~ Neither of us were comfortable, or were even very *uncomfortable* trying to be something we weren't. I couldn't imagine owning and dominating my Luv Luv, the idea made me a bit uncomfortable. And likewise- Lilly couldn't imagine striking me or tying me up. But- the thing about being very deeply in love- you find yourself willing to try things you wouldn't expect you would.

It was slow, unbalanced, and I'm sure from an outsider perspective- very cute.

Lilly's first strikes on my bottom and scratches on my back felt more like gentle tickles or pats than anything else. And every few moments I'd be double checking to make sure she was okay when I tried to act like she was my Slave. It was slow~ But the sheer pleasure that glowed from us when we were exploring our fantasies... that kind of happiness is contagious. It warms and tickles your belly when you see your loved one so passionate and happy. And that. In a sexual context. Breeds perversion.

Now- the balance grows more and more Equal. No longer are we Dominating just because the other wants to Submit- now the urge to Dominate grows within us. A slow sprouting seed that adores the feeling, the passion, the control. Now I feel a flutter of my heart grasping Lilly's hair and whispering how she's mine. And Lilly fills with excitement putting my flesh in her teeth. Now I grasp her wrists every now and then as a flirt. As does Lilly rake a part of me with her nails just because.

SadoMasochism is not divided into Subs and Doms. It'd be easy if it was. But the world's not like that. The correct balance of passion, love, and willingness to explore can open you up to all kinds of experience and roles.

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So~ If you have any questions at all about my experience or other things. Feel free to ask~!!!!